Skip to content

“If you don’t like my driving, call 1-800-EAT-$@*!”

August 24, 2010


I sprayed over the curse word for you.

On the way to work this morning, I pulled behind an erratically driving beat-up truck with the overly-aggressive bumper sticker:  “IF YOU DON’T LIKE MY DRIVING, CALL 1-800-EAT-[expletive deleted–rhymes with “HIT”–author.]  As he sat through the first ten seconds of green, I thought to myself (because I am not telepathic), “…alright, I will.”  At that moment I found myself overcome with curiosity about what would happen at the end of that phone number.  Unfortunately, I discovered it is a phone-sex line.  Now they have my cell phone number.  Nice.  They texted me twice in the next two minutes to see if I indeed was interested in partaking of their services.  I share this to protect you lest you be overcome with a similar curiosity.  Resist.  This will be difficult to explain to the spouse.

Weight Gain, Training Fail

I have struggled to maintain what little cycling fitness I have generated after my foot injury that has kept me from running and cycling as oft as I would like.  I did manage some hill repeats while visiting my parents in Iowa in the ridiculous humidity there and some short maintenance rides near my home, but am disappointed to have to missed my XTERRA due to sore ribs and said foot.  As a direct result of a dip in training volume and yet a steady appetite, I have regained some weight whilst losing some fitness (Ugh).  My foot feels good enough to resume running, however, and my ribs hurt less, so it’s time to ressurrect my fall season.

The Plan

I acquired two books to help me on my quest.  The first I have been wanting to dive into for a while:  The Time-Crunched Cyclist by Chris Carmichael.  After reading this book I have realized that my lackluster fitness earlier this year has been due to not pushing myself enough in the limited training time I have.  An earth-shattering revelation.  So.  Time to “man up” (because I am a man–no sexism intended) and hit some serious power intervals over the next 10-11 weeks.  I’m anxious to test the results of this plan and how much they help me achieve my fall race goals.

This should also help me drop some weight, and I will be assisted by what I discovered in my second, recently-acquired book:  Racing Weight by Matt Fitzgerald.  I will soon be delving into the ego-bashing world of monitoring my body composition (double-Ugh).  I am hoping that by dropping 10-15 pounds ove the ten or so weeks of the fitness plan I should perform much better in my fall schedule of races.

The Fall Schedule

My next “scheduled” event is a sprint-distance triathlon in mid-October called the “Monster Triathlon”.  Costumes are encouraged, but I’m not yet sure what I want to “be” for Halloween.  I hope to participate in either a criterium in mid-to-late September or the “Texas Time Trials” that weekend, depending on my level of fitness and ability to race and attend first grade cheerleading…

…and soccer games.  I do plan on racing cyclocross this fall/winter as well–I am hooked after my one race last year.  Time to break out the Frankenbike!

The Time is Nearing…

In preparation for my purpose for Team CarboRocket, my annual trip to India to provide vision care for the needy in the Ganges River Delta, I will be auctioning off the single speed 69’er:

*sniff* I will miss her so…

For each $10 that is donated to help buy glasses and medicines for my trip to India, you will receive a chance to win the bike I have enjoyed all season long.  If two people donate $10, you have a 1 in 2 chance of winning! (I’m hoping to raise more money than that, so your odds may be less…)  The point is, this baby is going.  And I shall miss her.  *SNIFF*  Dearly.  More details soon!

One Comment leave one →
  1. ChristyMcB permalink
    August 30, 2010 9:43 pm

    LOL on the bumper sticker experience. Sounds like you have a good plan to get back on track and ready for the next adventure!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: