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Motivational Theory and Big Guys

March 24, 2010

I have a theory.  I can only apply it to big guys, perhaps that have had experience with classic neanderthal coaching or the military.  I cannot say whether it applies also to women because:

  1. You fairer sex are riddles wrapped in enigmas. 
  2. It is never appropriate to use the word “big” in reference to women. 

Here it is:  big guys have an unconscious need to be yelled at.  I discovered this as I was thumbing through my iPod playlists.  Music is a very powerful motivator and/or relaxant.  It can control mood and strength.  I am not opposed at all to the sound of silence–the whirring background noise in my head and the inner voices that I hear.  Some, like my wife, must constantly have background noise (you quietophobics, you noiseoholics*).  For most of us, though, as the miles accrue, music helps the time pass faster.  It also helps make my power intervals more effective.  Perhaps many of you can push yourselves to gentle music like “Bittersweet Symphony” by The Verve, or even this:

(By the way, I actually like this song and especially this ASL video version.)

This type of music only seasons my playlist, though.  The “meat” is angry and reflects its title:  “Workout Murder Music”.  Like this for example:

Or, maybe this:

Perhaps not to your taste–music is a very personal thing.  But for me, my unconscious flashes back to high-school coaches screaming motivational cliches to me about being “hell-bent for election”  or “guaran-damn-teeing” me some punishment for failure.  This allows me to generate approximately 14,000 watts of power, sustainable for at least four seconds.  My unofficial research has revealed that most elite-level athletes don’t claim to require this type of music to motivate them.  Therefore, I submit it is mass-related.  Bigger guys just need to be yelled at more loudly to push our heavy selves harder.  Feel free to disagree.  My research included a sample size of one, so it may not be statistically significant.

*these two words were coined by author Chuck Palahniuk.  I use them whenever I can because they are descriptive and awesome.

In race news, my triathlon that got “snowed out” is rescheduled for April 25th.  My next event, however, is the “Red River Shootout” ( mountain bike race in Ardmore, Oklahoma on April 18th.  I am registered to race in the “clydesdale open” class which includes 2 eight-mile loops for us 200+ pounders.  Go, Team Carbo Rocket!

Current weight: 218.5.  (Oops, not much progress.  I guaran-damn-tee I will be under 217 by the end of next week).

2 Comments leave one →
  1. Marty permalink
    March 25, 2010 8:39 pm

    Well, this female doesn’t like to be yelled at by normal people, but I ride to both of those last two songs. So I’m with ya, man! And hells yeah, “there’s nothing wrong with me.”
    Maybe add some Slipknot?

    • Brett Ringger permalink
      March 26, 2010 7:49 am

      Yep, “Dead Memories” and “Psychosocial” are on the playlist, too. Also Static-X and Five-Finger Death Punch. Pepper in a little classic Pantera for good measure!

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